Gail and Jake

With the help of my volunteer I have built a strong bond with my son. We really enjoy spending time together and for the first time ever we  laugh and play together.

Reason for Referral

 Gail and her son Jake, 3 were referred to our service by their Health Visitor.  Gail is a young mum who had just come out of a very abuse relationship with Jakes father. Gail was finding it increasingly hard to bond with Jake due to past experiences and Jake’s behavioral issues. Gail felt that she could no longer cope and was seriously considering placing Jake into care.

Gail informed me that her relationship with Jakes father was both physically and emotionally abusive throughout the relationship and in particular while Gail was pregnant with Jake. Gail was isolated from her family, relying totally on Jakes father for all her physical, financial and emotional needs. After one particular violent row, when Gail was 8 months pregnant, the relationship ended and Gail moved into a first floor flat in Worthing.   Gail’s ex-partner continued to harass Gail for the remaining time of her pregnancy and for the first 2 years of Jakes life.  Gail felt this destructive relationship with having a negative effect on her relationship with Jake.

Gail was also suffering financial difficulties and was in the process of being evicted from her flat.

 Input from Home-Start

 A Home-Start volunteer Stephanie started visiting the family on a weekly basis ten months ago. The main focus of Stephanie’s visits was to offer emotional support, encouraging Gail to build a positive relationship with Jake by helping Gail gain confidence in her parenting skills. Initially Stephanie and Gail tackled Gail’s increasing isolation. They accessed the Worthing Children Centre to enable Gail to meet other families and for Jake to gain access to a nursery setting. This was very successful and Gail continued to assess the Children’s Centre independently with Jake attend Nursery on a weekly basis. Through this Nursery setting it was established that Jake had behavioral issues and significant speech and Language delay. With the support of her volunteer, Gail was able to access different services to benefit Jake, subsequently gaining disability and careers allowance. These finding really boosted Gail’s confidence. She was able to recognize that Jake had some behavior issues rather than, as Gail felt, poor parenting.

With Stephanie’s support Gail was able to attend and contribute to meetings with confidence. Gail and Stephanie talked through taking control of personal circumstances and Gail subsequently contacted her landlord and creditors to establish a prepayment scheme. As Gail’s confidences grew so did her relationship with Jake, and Stephanie encouraged Gail to have some fun with Jake, they achieved this by learning to cook together.  This was a very positive experience, with Gail and Jake visiting charity shops for cooking equipment and having picnics in the park. When Gail found out she was pregnant 4 months ago she was worried and scared that she wouldn’t be able to cope. But with the support of her volunteer, Gail was able to recognise how far she had progressed as a person, distinguishing the differences between her former and present pregnancies. Gail informed me that her life has completely changed within the last 10 months. Jake has settled well into Nursery and has a good care structure in place for when he starts school in September. Gail is now in a relationship that is very supportive to both her and her son.

All names have been changed for reasons of confidentiality